18 – Hoping This Move Was The Right Move.

I feel its fair to say that since resigning from my job at Hungry Jacks, I had been some kind of gypsy. All while I never realised how dependant I had been my whole life. Dependent on people and most of all weed and alcohol. It is still not until many years later I woke up and start becoming more so independent. If you have been reading my personal story starting from 1 – All Over The Place, you would know how much I wanted to be in Adelaide. I felt that I was home and ready to start the next chapter……

 

Finally Getting To Where I Need To Be.

Mr M was what I thought I was looking for the whole time. We caught up as much as possible. When I would come in to Adelaide we would get a hotel. This way his Christian housemates wouldn’t catch on. It was truly the first time I felt spoilt. He brought me clothes, dinner, paid for the hotel room. I was in Heaven.

Eventually I expressed once again how much I’m dying to come to Adelaide to live. I had no work, and Ben and Alisha was now always arguing which made everything uncomfortable staying in the house. Plus it would mean I get to see Mr M more often. He agreed that it was time for me to move as he saw how unhappy I was getting living the way I was. He helped me look for a place, which he found me a shared accommodation from a rental website. However it was not going to be available for another three weeks. I applied for so many jobs, there were so many opportunities in Adelaide, and I could not give you a number on how many I applied for. I had interview after interview lined up, however, I could not afford all the petrol to drive back and forward to them. Mr M allowed me to stay at his house. I got to meet the straight Christian housemates. All gorgeous guys who were quite well mannered. Of course I had to stay in the spare room so Mr M wasn’t suspected, he always used the excuse that because they were Christian and go to the same church as himself, they would not understand and somehow get him kicked out of the church. This made me feel awkward, but then again I thought at the time that I ‘understood’ and went along with it.

I didn’t come to Adelaide with a cent to my name, nor was I getting any type of income. I didn’t have Ben and Alisha to help me out anymore. For a solid 3 weeks I had no cigarettes, nor any friends, plus what I have known to be my saviour, that’s right, weed and alcohol. Mr M was not a smoker and he made it clear that he will not be supporting my filthy habit. Those 3 weeks were very hard. Especially because I knew I couldn’t beg for them, Mr M had already spent enough on me. I remember thinking to my self that I had fucked up once again, I mean I have moved to another town/city with no money, and was just winging it, ‘what am I doing?’ But then, I also remembered thinking that its ok, Mr M helped me with everything. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I was totally dependent on this man as I have been dependent on everyone in my life. It wasn’t until years to come I realised just how dependent I was.

Landing My First Job In Adelaide

Two weeks after staying with Mr M and feeling lost without my usual drug and alcohol fixes I was quite moody and getting depressed. I then went for an interview with Subway as a Store Manager. I was nervous but I feel that it was all the withdrawals I was having. I arrived to the interview and in fact, apart from the earlier feeling I had, I did well. In fact only two hours after the interview, they rang me asking when I could start. Of course I said the following day. Mr M and I celebrated with dinner and got us a hotel room to be alone for a night. I was over the moon, because this was the week I move in to my new place with a stranger, and I at least now was going to have money. I was also thinking that I couldn’t wait to buy smokes and meet people who smoke weed so I can buy some. It’s amazing how my brain functioned with thought back then. My priorities sure have changed. I’m sure Mr M knew I was suffering, however, I thought I was doing an ok job trying not to show it.

Things felt like they were coming back in order. Although it was an awkward three weeks staying at the house pretending to be just a friend to Mr M, I appreciated him risking what ever he felt he was risking. I scored a Store Managers position, and I’m about to have somewhere to live.

Meeting The New Housemate, Then Realising Who He Was

Meeting the guy I moved in with for the first time was a little scary. We will call this guy ‘DJ’. I had no furniture for my bedroom, not even a bed. All I literally had was what I had with me when I left Port Augusta, clothes and photos. DJ gave me his old futon, which folded out into a bed. I used my one suitcase and 3 rubbish bags as my wardrobes and dressers. But I knew I was going to get an ok regular income and was looking forward to buying all these new things for my space in the house. DJ was a nice guy; he was Aboriginal who was sweet, hard working and enjoyed routine.

After working my first week, I paid my rent then felt I deserved to blow it all and have some fun. I asked Mr M if he would want to come to the Mars Bar (Adelaide’s Gay Club). He refused and was adamant he would never go. He was worried that people from the University would see him. I had no friends at this point in Adelaide, so I went to the Mars Bar by myself.

I entered the doors, paid the entry fee and proceeded to head in to get a drink. I had a real good feel about this place. Good beats and hot as guys, and finally a regular place I could come to and be my absolute self. I then looked up at the DJ box. Who do I see? DJ. It turned out that the guy I know pay rent to and share a place with is the DJ at the gay club. Wow, this made me instantly comfortable with him. We looked at each other laughed and continued to enjoy our night. One of the perks of your housemate, who was a DJ at the only gay club in the whole of South Australia, was free entry and getting to know all the regulars and workers. Which of course turned into cheap or free drinks. But some time ahead I started making friends, and I started doing a lot more other things other than alcohol and weed…

 

Advertisements

Written by Phil Paterson

I have been a Community Support Worker for the last four years. I worked in the Mental Health Sector and now currently working with people who have Aquired Brain Injuries in Disabilty. I studied to be a worker in the community, as I myself haven't had the best life. (Although now my life is much better). So I decided to attempt to write my real life story of trauma and abuse, drugs and alcohol, love and loss. All which led to depression and anxiety. Apart from my story I plan to write about everyday important issue that co-inside with my blog.

One comment

Comment Here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s