26 – The Random Psychic

Getting goosebumps while being told by someone random your personal information is spooky. If only you could trust a stranger. This day sure set my beliefs straight. If only Danny and I had listened.

Alison allowed Danny and I to stay at her place for a while. She could see how I was not enjoying living with Crystal anymore. It wasn’t so much Crystal, it was Ron. He started to believe his word was law. I couldn’t be around people like him anymore. He didn’t care that there is a kid living there, he kept shooting up in the house while the little one was home. Alison really believed it was the drugs that I needed saving from, (which wasn’t a bad idea). However it really was the environment I was in, well, so my brain was telling me. Danny and I packed our things from Crystals place, which wasn’t that much to be honest. We then said our goodbyes and left. 

Alison lived in a one bedroom flat, she put a mattress in the lounge room where both myself and Danny would sleep. It worked out well to start with. I would finish work, come back to Alisons, we would bong on, then Alison would go to work at 10pm. That’s when Danny and I had the place to ourselves. We would bring the crack and needles out and get high, and have amazing sex. I thought I really liked Danny, but soon it would make sense that it was the drugs that liked him more than I actually did.

You see, the whole time being with Danny, he was ready to move to Queensland to be with another guy. He met this guy on the internet before we saw each other at the Mars Bar, and would speak to him every day. Danny would always tell me that we can’t fall in love, as he will move eventually. I brushed it off every time, because I thought that it would never happen. He was broke like me, due to buying drugs and alcohol that is. Alison finally clicked on to Danny’s plan and started to hound me about how this was not a healthy relationship. I knew it wasn’t, I told her that he won’t go, it’s too far. I still wasn’t going to tell her that there was the meth involved. 

The weekends would come by where we always went to the Mars Bar. We would buy pills (ecstasy), Danny and I would have a shot in the club toilets. We would all dance and laugh and have an actual good night. My mates, Nate and Mitch would be there, and we all would just have so much fun. Everyone couldn’t understand how Danny and I were never hung over or came down from the pills we took the night before. I know they wouldn’t appreciate how. There were times Alison would smoke some meth with us, and she would be amazed how Danny and I wouldn’t come down hard like she did. 

Danny started becoming a little unbearable, even for me. He would talk on the phone for hours at a time to the guy in Queensland. He would mention him more and more, and whatever feelings I had for him were getting stronger. He was getting more and more obsessed with going, and as much as he started pissing me off, I didn’t want him to. One Saturday, we decided to go for a drive to a shop called Eternal Spirit, a spiritual shop full of crystals, books and psychics. 

We were looking at all the crystals, when a lady approached us and said, “Today’s psychic at the back, is asking to see you two.” We looked at each other, both with spooked expressions. “Thats ok thanks, we don’t have the money to see anyone today, we just having a look around,” I mentioned. The lady went on telling us that they won’t charge us, the psychic would just like to talk to us. We were curious just as much as spooked, so we accepted to see her. The lady led us through the back into a room where the psychic was.

“Take a seat boys, and thank you for coming in.” We told her how we felt weird and asked what is it she wants to talk about. “Who is the one thinking of moving away?” This gave me instant goose bumps. Danny told her with hesitation that it was him. “It’s a silly idea. Why would you go to someone in another state, when you have someone here?” This time I am pretty sure Danny was getting the goosebumps. He explained to her who this guy was and why he wanted to go. She mentioned that it is all his decision, but told him to beware, as the guy hasn’t been fully honest with him. She then turned to me and said, “So, you’re looking for a husband?” I didn’t know how to respond. “Someone to share your life with?” I answered yes. “The man you will find will be younger than you.” She could see a somewhat confused expression on my face. “you obviously like them older, but you will end up with someone younger.” She then went on telling both of us, that, what we are putting in our bodies secretly, is not allowing us to think straight. 

On the way home, I thought the experience that just happened was truly scary. Danny and I spoke about him wanting to go away, and what could the guy be hiding? However, Danny still really wanted to go. I stopped discouraging him, all because I kept thinking that the psychic was right. I wasn’t thinking straight. I did really like Danny, but I guess he was convenient for my addiction to Meth. Without Danny, I knew I wouldn’t shoot up, all because I couldn’t bring myself to go and get the syringes and have everyone look at me. 

Two weeks after the random psychic experience, Danny went to Queensland. Alison and I took him to the airport to say goodbye. I knew us not being together anymore was a good thing, but I still felt sad. I could see in his eyes that he was nervous. They called for people to board. Danny came to me, gave me a big hug and kiss, then whispered in my ear, “I am sorry, I do love you.” Then walked off to board the plane. I thought that me hearing him say that would kill me. Even though I felt he meant it, I realised there and then I didn’t love him back. 6 years after he left, Danny contacted me out of the blue. He told me the secret the psychic said the guy was hiding. My heart broke when Danny told me that his partner has past away, and passed Danny HIV. If only he had listened to what he was being told. He was managing well and on medication. It really sucks how things work out in the end for people. 

After Danny left, I would only smoke Meth, and my pills and trips intake became more and more. Alison had a bunch of friends that were like grungy dare devils. The kind that is against everything in society and squatted in different places. I was always awkward around them, but I knew I could have fun with them.

Then the next-door neighbour had her daughter and her daughters boyfriend move in from out of state. The next 15 mths was my road to the bottom.

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I have been a Community Support Worker for the last four years. I worked in the Mental Health Sector and now currently working with people who have Aquired Brain Injuries in Disabilty. I studied to be a worker in the community, as I myself haven't had the best life. (Although now my life is much better). So I decided to attempt to write my real life story of trauma and abuse, drugs and alcohol, love and loss. All which led to depression and anxiety. Apart from my story I plan to write about everyday important issue that co-inside with my blog.

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